losing my grip on sanity

Always words running through and a concept for free form writing earlier if only I can remember all my ideas.

Sad that the country descends into such madness and is it really all about the drama, I wonder? Being self-justified but needing groupthink for affirmation because otherwise what you say would be demeaning, bigoted, utterly despicable. Apparently evil is more pervasive than even I thought but obviously subtle to you / insidious.
Why are we more inclined to voluntarily misunderstand, not be observant and thoughtful – listening is a whole-hearted activity, not just the ears’ job – because the ears don’t work so great and lots of folks go deaf with age. But some go blind and that is holy and that eliminates difference when they listen so their ears work better. You know it’s not literal.
I fill up with such hatred when I’m behind the stupid f.ing steering wheel. And I yell at the drivers because they’re being reckless with all of our lives when they think it’s just a race from A to B, that we are all in THEIR way. PSA: you don’t matter more than other people or their kids in the backseat.
I can’t and this is why I think about those people who live in the mountains in Tibet and I realize how much better off we would be and they are but where is the love there?
Why do we have to love each other so messy? Why do I have to forgive the ignorant racist proud arrogant entitled person looking down on the woman with tattoos and body odor or the man sleeping in his car because he doesn’t have anywhere? Why are people so quick to think they’re so different?
God doesn’t want your Swiffer – Kate Spade – Fox News life. He doesn’t want my C.S. Lewis – embrace the mess – npr life. He just wants us to know, trust, love.

And that’s the only way I can. Jesus couldn’t be heard and understood then, either. And we can say we’d never be at Donald Trump’s rally but we crucified our Christ.